I Love You Beth Cooper

There is no getting around it. This movie just wasn't made for me. I knew that going in. I knew that the film maker's target demographic was boys age 13 - 18 looking for a laugh after seeing Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen for the third time, not 28-year-old men with film degrees. Yet, still I gave I Love You Beth Cooper a chance. Why? Mostly because it was free.

Did I get what I paid for? Yeah, kinda. This isn't so much a movie as it is a collection of one-liners and side boob. I Love You Beth Cooper tells the story of Dennis Cooverman (played by Paul Rust, who I wasn't familiar with but was instantly struck by the size of his nose) and the graduation speech that leads to the greatest night of his young life. Most people would use a valedictory address to impart some wisdom to his class mates. Not Dennis. He uses his time in the spotlight to confess his love for the very beautiful and very popular Beth Cooper (Hayden Panettiere of Heroes fame).

My problems with the movie are the same as my problems with most teen comedies. The first problem is that director Chris Columbus (how the mighty have fallen, right?) can't seem to decide if this is a comedy or a coming-of-age piece. Most teen comedies straddle that line, but at times you get the impression that Columbus is trying to make something more akin to Stand by Me than American Pie.

The movie also has a very streaky script. Dennis' speech is great, but it happens in the first fifteen minutes of the film. After that it is for the most part down hill. Chase scenes involving Beth Cooper's 'roided up cadet boyfriend, Kevin (Shawn Roberts) , usually start out funny but aside from a locker room towel fight featuring Dennis' best friend Rich Munch (Jack Carpenter) - get it? Richard Munch...Dick Munch - they all go on too long and the fun disappears.

I Love You Beth Cooper suffers from one very common problem that most teen comedies share. The movie was made by a guy who was likely a nerd in high school, so he didn't really know what the parties that the cool kids had were actually like. That means everything the cool kids do in this movie is just ridiculous. I went to high school. I was friends with a lot of people - many of them very cool. No one I know had a threesome. No one I know broke into the school for a co-ed shower. No one I know drove a car through someone else's living room window.

The best thing that I Love You Beth Cooper has going for it is the soundtrack. Is every song used a classic? No, but they all fit perfectly. Dennis is a nerd, so it stands to reason that his graduation night mix tape would feature the hella-lame "School's Out" by Alice Cooper. Also, mega kudos to whoever decided to use Ray Lamontagne's "Let it be Me" for Dennis & Beth's heart to heart in the wilderness.

The movie has it's moments. I certainly laughed more than a few times, and I truly appreciate Hayden Panettiere giving up the side boob. Don't worry guys. She's 20. You can enjoy the show. Overall though, I just don't feel like I would have missed anything if I had never seen I Love You Beth Cooper.

The Greek gives it a C-.

Public Enemies

If you have read some of my more recent posts, you would be able to tell that I was really looking forward to the release of Michael Mann's latest, Public Enemies. I am a huge Johnny Depp fan, and frankly I was ready to see something with a little more depth after sitting through Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Public Enemies isn't a bad movie. It just isn't as good as I was hoping for, and that is my fault. I think I built up how good it was going to be in my mind.

The film as a lot going for it. The acting is great. Johnny Depp is his usual oddball genius. Marion Cotillard is gorgeous and not bad as John Dillinger's love interest. Even Channing Tatum, who is on the screen for all of 15 minutes, is just plain fantastic as Baby Face Nelson.

I was most impressed by Christian Bale, who - and let me make this perfectly clear - I usually can't stand. Did you see The Dark Knight? He nearly ruined a great movie with his "I desperately want to be Clint Eastwood" growl. Plus, he's just a real douche bag. You don't get to be a real douche bag and overrated. You have to pick one or the other. In Public Enemies though, Bale is pitch perfect as FBI Agent Melvin Purvis.

My problem is more with the story telling. The first 30 minutes are just really choppy and don't fit together as well as they need to. The final hour is also tough. I know that everyone wants to see Dillinger's epic death, but if Michael Mann had instead ended the movie with the capture of Marion Cotillard's Billie, you still would have had a good movie. Granted, she is the subject of an intense interrogation scene that would be sorely missed, but something has to give. There is a very good movie somewhere in Public Enemies' two hour and 20 minutes, but someone should have pried it away from Mann for a proper editing job.

Another problem I have is with the casting of Marion Cotillard. Yes, she's beautiful. Yes, she has an Oscar. Yes, she is tremendously talented. She is unfortunately, French. I don't mean that in a "I hate everything French" kind of way. I mean it in that her accent is so thick, that I couldn't get lost in the movie. I never believed she could be a poor girl that grew up on an Indian reservation in Wisconsin.

There really is more good than bad in Public Enemies. My problems are just the type that can really ruin a movie. Would I recommend it to you? Yeah, I think so. I would probably watch it again on DVD, and if you are looking for a movie that has a story and great characters this is a good choice. It's a nice alternative to movies filled with explosions and make believe robots.

The Greek gives it a B-.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Let me start by saying that Salt, who loves Transformers, and my 9-year-old Godson, Austin loved the movie. I, on the other hand, was not impressed by the sequel to a movie that I wasn't

impressed with to begin with.

Salt & I have been having a debate lately about the Transformers franchise and movies like it. Salt says that I am a movie snob and the only reason I hate the movie is because I hate the Transformers. My argument is that, in the age of movies like The Dark Knight and Star Trek, a blockbuster that has no heart or soul is unacceptable. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, Spider-Man, Spider-Man 2, Iron Man, and the Harry Potter films are great examples of what a summer blockbuster can be.

Was I expecting too much from Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen? Maybe. Maybe as I walked into the theatre I should have thought to myself "Oh boy! I'm gonna see Megan Fox and things are gonna explode!" I'm just not that kind of guy though. I want some depth...and therein lies the problem with going to see a Michael Bay movie.

The man might as well just film fireworks displays. Think about his past movies - Armageddon, Pearl Harbor, The Island, etc. They have no script (at least not one that makes any sense). He puts no effort into getting good performances out of his actors. His movies are bridges between explosions.

I am sorry this has turned into a rant about Michael Bay and the state of the summer blockbuster, but Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is exhibit A in this argument!

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen's greatest flaw is it's script. There are jokes. Not good ones. Salt says the first twenty minutes are hilarious. I thought the first twenty minutes were ridiculously unfocused - not nearly as unfocused as the final hour though. That's another flaw! Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen does not need to be two and a half hours long, but I digress. The final hour may have about twenty lines. I honestly had no idea what was going on other than things were blowing up and Megan Fox was running in slow motion.

There are a few other complaints I have about the movie, so I'll give you a quick run down.

• If you're favorite character dies, don't worry, they're going to come back to life (they all do)
• Michael Bay is making a movie about giant space robots and there is so much cussing and humping that I felt uncomfortable being in the theatre with a nine-year-old.
• The special effects weren't even all that impressive.

My greatest complaint though is the two characters Skids and Mudflap.

These are the two most racist things I have ever seen! Look at the green one. Yes, that's a gold tooth. Yes, he has big ears and a big nose. Hello, stereotype! And just wait till you hear them talk...then read the credits and see that Tom Kenny provides their voices. He looks like this. Now it seems a lot more racist.

There is so much wrong with Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen that it is easy to overlook the fact that the basic framework of the story isn't bad, and in the hands of a more capable writer and director it could be on par with Star Trek. Plus, with all of those explosions, the two and a half hour run time flies by, so the pain won't last too long if you are dragged along by your kids, friends, or significant other(s). And I would be lying if I didn't say that I laughed a few times.

The Greek gives it a C-.

Land of the Lost

You can't go into the theatre with great expectations for Will Ferrell's latest film.  I mean look at the trailer.

The problem with Land of the Lost is...okay, there are a lot of them, but the biggest one is that the movie can't decide what it is supposed to be.  A movie about time travelers that befriend a monkey and fight lizard people clearly isn't aimed at adults.  Land of the Lost can't possibly be meant for kids either.  There is graphic language, sex, and one very funny scene involving hallucinogenic drugs.

Should I appreciate that in this age of CGI everything that Land of the Lost paid tribute to the very amature original series by dressing actors in rubber suits to play the evil slee staks or should I be confused?  I mean there was no CGI available to Sid & Marty Croft in the 1970s.  I know that the film is meant as a send up of the original series, but it does make it a little tough to get lost in the story.

Then we get to the acting.  Really, we get to the lack of acting.  Will Ferrell is credited with playing Dr. Rick Marshall, but really he just plays Ricky Bobby, Ron Burgandy and Frank the Tank in a fishing vest.  Danny McBride is playing Danny McBride and Anna Friel is just awful in this movie.  Land of the Lost doesn't even show off Anna's usual talents.  And then there's Chaka.  You know the prehistoric manbeast is going to be in the movie, because he figured so prominently into the TV show.  What you don't know is he could be the most annoying character in cinema history.

Is there anything redeeming about Land of the Lost?  Look, it's a Will Ferrell movie, so you know there are some quotable lines.  Danny McBride is one of the funniest actors around right now.  So there are some things to laugh at.  There is also the sight of Will Ferrell riding a dinosaur, which is rivaled in awesomeness only by Robocop riding a unicorn.

Overall Land of the Lost isn't really worth your time - especially in a summer that has already featured Star Trek, Up, and Wolverine and still has Funny People and Public Enemies on the way.  There may be a reason to pick up the DVD.  Will Ferrell and Danny McBride may help deliver a solid outtakes real.

The Greek gives it a D.

Up

I love Pixar movies.  That probably doesn't surprise you. If you listen to the show, you already know that I am a Disney buff.  I think Pixar has released the most creative and unique family movies of the last 15 years.  I actually know in what order I would rank each of the movies...Okay, here we go.

1. The Incredibles
2. Ratatouille
3. Finding Nemo
4. Wall*E
5. Toy Story
6. A Bug's Life
7. Monster's Inc.
8. Cars
9. Toy Story 2

So how does the company's latest, Up, compare to its predecessors? 

I was very impressed.  Pixar has always been great at the technical side of things.  The animation is breath taking. The detail is stunning.  The other aspects seem to get better each time out.  Pixar movies have gotten funnier.  The stories have gotten better with each time release and Up is no exception.  

Storywise, this might be Pixar's most creative effort.  Carl Fredrickson is an old man that has lost his wife and is dealing with the prospect of losing his home.  He decides to give up on the world around him and follow his and his wife's dream of traveling to Paradise Falls in Venezuela by attaching helium filled balloons to his house.  Minutes into his journey he discovers Russell, a pudgy little stow away.

It's a Disney movie, so I don't need to tell you that the two become friends and learn from one another.  Up isn't about the destination though.  The movie is all about the journey.  After all, early on we're introduced to explorer Charles Muntz, Carl's boyhood idol whose motto is "Adventure is out there."

The film is filled with great characters - a giant bird named Kevin 

a talking dog named Doug 

and even an older, sinister version of Muntz.  

These characters all have stories that tug at your heart strings.  Even the evil Muntz draws some sympathy.

That's what I liked about Up.  The year's other big animated hit, Monsters vs. Aliens 3D, was all about cheap 3D tricks and showing off what could be done in the 3D medium.  What was the result?  A loud, annoying, painfully unfunny movie.  Up is Pixar's first venture in 3D and rather than show off what they could do visually, the company turned a quality, deep script into a great movie.  It's funny.  It's uplifting (no pun intended).  It's even a little sad at times.

So what does my Pixar ranking look like now that film number ten has been delivered?  It's gonna take some time for me to be sure, but my initial impression has it looking like this.

1. The Incredibles
2. Ratatouille
3. Finding Nemo
4. Wall*E
5. Up
6. Toy Story
7. A Bug's Life
8. Monsters, Inc.
9. Cars
10. Toy Story 2

Top half.  Not bad when you're talking about a company that has put out as many great movies as Pixar has. 

The Greek gives it an A-.

Star Trek

HOLY CRAP THIS MOVIE WAS AWESOME!

J.J. Abram's reboot of the classic sci fi franchise was even better than I expected and I expected a lot!  How could I not?  Every trailer has made this look like the greatest action movie ever made.  Star Trek didn't disappoint.  Every actor fit into their role nicely.  The movie is a perfect blend of familiar characters, sets and catchphrases thrown into a great new story.  Star Trek is really everything that a franchise reboot should be.

The casting is spot on.  Chris Pine, who honest to God I had never heard of, is great as the young James T. Kirk.  His performance combined with a strong script really make William Shattner's older Kirk seem a little more human.  Captain Kirk was a rugged, arrogant jerk on the original TV show.  Pine plays Kirk as kind of a dumb kid.  A "too big for his britches" type that gets smacked down over and over before he gets the strength and knowledge to back up his bravado. 

Zoe Saldana is a pleasant surprise.  She is barely in the movie (which is weird considering the amount of press photos and Burger King glasses she is on), but her Uhura comes across like a female version of the young Kirk.  It's easy to see why she and the Captain butt heads and why she and Spock work so well as a couple.

Speaking of Spock, writers Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman took a real chance writing a part in for Leonard Nimoy when they had already cast Zach Quinto to play the young Spock.  The two Spocks work.  The script keeps them apart for long enough to make their meeting something we look forward to rather than something we know has to happen, but expect will suck.

Oh and speaking of Zach Quinto, how perfect is he to play Spock?  We know from watching Heroes that he is a master of the emotionless, deadpan delivery.  And it's creepy how much he looks like a young Leonard Nimoy.

And by the way, Leonard Nimoy looks like hell these days.

Star Trek is the perfect summer movie.  You really don't get new, original scripts these days.  The summer movie slate has become littered with sequels, reboots, and superheroes.  Star Trek is good enough to turn haters into fans and casual fans to Trekkies.  

There's plenty of humor in the script.  Look, it would be ridiculous to make a Star Trek movie and not acknowledge how campy the original series seems now.  That's what Tim Burton did with his first Batman film.  Like that movie, J.J. Abrams has created a movie that is funny enough for people that can take a joke, but not derogatory in a way that pisses off the hardcore fans.

The summer of 2009 is off to a good start.  I liked X-Men Origins: Wolverine and I loved Star Trek.  We're two weeks in and I have already seen as many blockbusters that I like at this point as I did all of last summer.  

The Greek gives it an A+. 

The Soloist

I really didn't expect to like this movie at all. I saw the trailer for The Soloist and thought it looked kinda hokey - like it was supposed to tug at my heart strings and make me remember everything that is right about humanity.

Then there is the fact that the movie was supposed to be released in November to contend for an Oscar, but then was pushed back for some mysterious reason. I have to admit, I assumed the movie must suck.

I was wrong. I truly enjoyed The Soloist. The acting was terrific, but the acting didn't steal the show. The real star here is the film making. The audio effects and flashbacks used to show Jamie Foxx's Nathanial Ayers Jr. is trapped in a bout of schizophrenia are very effective.

Also, director Joe Wright gives a nice nod to all of Disney's Silly Symphony cartoons. How did most of us first hear an orchestra as a kid? We heard it on the Disney Channel as colors flashed on the screen. That same technique is used here. At times it can get a little tedious, but it is a nice tip of the hat.

The acting is as good as advertised. Robert Downey Jr. has always been underrated in my opinion. He plays Steve Lopez as a down-on-his-luck smart ass. Even in the end his heart doesn't entirely melt, which is nice, because it isn't what you would expect from a movie like this.

Jamie Foxx is just plain brilliant. He is an actor that took his Oscar and made smart choices to build a great reputation. His character William Ayers Jr. is a crazy person. He spends most of his time dressed like Chuck Berry or Don King, but Foxx never lets you laugh at Ayers.

The movie did have its short comings. It starts waaaaaaaay too slow. I was bored for the first 20 minutes or so. The movie also goes for too many cheap laughs. For a drama, Robert Downey Jr. got doused in urine an awful lot.

Also, there is an unnecessary shot that pans across the top of a row of bathroom stalls, where we see a guy taking a dump. Why? For the love of God, why did we need that?

The Soloist is absolutely worth your time! I was thoroughly entertained by both the acting and the film making. So many movies are filmed in LA. This is the first one I have seen in a while that makes great use of the city as a character. The Soloist can seem a little preachy on issues of poverty and care for the mentally ill, but there is nothing gratuitous that isn't essential to the story.

The Greek gives it a B+.