The X Files: I Want to Believe

I have never seen an episode of The X Files, so I wasn't sure if I should even review I Want to Believe. I remember going to see The X Files: The Movie on a date in high school and hated it. The girl I was with said I would have enjoyed it more if I were a fan of the television show.

So with that in mind, I actually hadn't decided to attend the screening of The X Files: I Want to Believe until an hour before the movie started. I am so glad I chose to attend, because the movie is great as a stand alone story. Admittedly there are things that would have meant more to me if I were a fan. I had no idea that Mulder and Scully had a kid together. Also, I have no idea who Skinner is, but when he appeared on screen ominous music played, so I assume he is important to Mulder and Scully's back story.

Let's start with some of this movie's strengths. Most of the lead actors are really strong. Gillian Anderson has always given me the creeps and I think she's a bit of a lune, but none of that shines through. In this film Scully is a doctor - no longer associated with the FBI. We see sides of her that are angry, compassionate, and more than a little obsessive. Amanda Pete is solid as usual. Her performance won't blow you away, but it doesn't turn you off either.

The two real stars of this film are David Duchovny, who just seems like one of the coolest mothers on the planet. I don't mean Fox Mulder. That guy seems like a real douche bag. Duchovny always brings this sense of being the baddest man in the room to a role. I Want to Believe is no exception. The other star is Billy Connoly, who like Duchovny very rarely misses the mark. He stars as Father Joe, a pedophile priest that may or may not have a psychic connection to a man abducting people and hacking them up. Billy Connoly is great! I cannot stress that enough. Admittedly, his Scottish accent might have something to do with how awesome he is, but he played Father Joe in a way that made me go from trusting Father Joe to despising him to thinking he was crazy to feeling sympathy and back again.

The movie is a thriller, but the script doesn't take itself so seriously that you're on pins and needles the whole time. Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz pepper their script with plenty of humor. Some of Mulder dialogue had me laughing out loud. There is also a great shot that features our president. I won't ruin it, but you'll laugh no matter what your politics are.

Finally, I have to give Carter and Spotnitz all the credit in the world for coming up with a story that couldn't be told on television. The movie revolves around a series of terribly graphic crimes that you could never get away with, and the action sequences are too big not to be viewed on the big screen.

Now I will concede that this is a summer movie, and no summer movie is void of problems. While most of the performances are great, I found it hard to stomach rapper/car pimper XZibit as FBI Agent Drummy. If he wasn't scowling, he wasn't onscreen at all.

The bigger problems come at the end. I am not giving anything away here, but story lines involving Father Joe and Scully respectively are wrapped up almost as an after thought. For all of the importance put on these two story lines, I think they deserve more resolution than they got.

I am confused and eager to see other reviews. Several of the early reviews that hit the press called the movie "sexy," but honestly I don't know what they're talking about. Aside from a single shot of a woman in a pool and a shot of Scully in a nightgown, there isn't much that can be considered sexy in the film. Also, I am interested to see if there is any reaction to the movie's stem cell research storyline that mirrors the reaction of some critics to the end of Million Dollar Baby.

Overall, the movie was great. I really appreciate the way Chris Carter and crew approached a second X Files movie. There are still die hard fans out there (including my wife), but even some of them (including my wife) have forgotten the necessary details to keep up with a convoluted continuation of the series finale. The X Files: I Want to Believe instead plays like an intense update of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.

If I were a fan of The X Files television series, I probably would be willing to give this movie an A, but I wasn't. I did walk away plenty satisfied though. So, the Greek gives it a B+.

Independent's Day 3: The Wackness

If you read my reviews regularly, than you have one of two opinions about me. You either think 1)I don't like anything or 2)I'm a movie snob. I don't think either is true. I like a lot of movies ... and Wayne's World is my all time favorite, so you can't really call me a movie snob. I think it's a case of this summer leaving a lot to be desired. We have only had two blockbusters (Iron Man and Wall*E) that are worth the money your ticket was printed on, and that indy film that's sure to be a breakout either hasn't hit theatres yet or just isn't coming out this summer.

So with that lead in, you can probably tell I didn't like The Wackness. The movie is set in 1994 and at times you wonder if writer/director Jonathan Levine actually has a story to tell or if he just wants to remind you what year he graduated from high school. The dialogue is terrible. The acting (in a lot of cases) misses the mark. The cinematography at times tries to be trippy and artistic, but trust me, it's nothing you haven't seen before. The rest of the time it's nothing you can't see on a Seinfeld rerun. It runs for just over an hour and a half, but you would swear that hour and a half is actually three and a half hours if you didn't have a watch.

I mentioned that the acting misses the mark. That's true in the case of Josh Peck and his character Luke Shapiro. It's hard for me to believe that Peck really loved this script. Instead it seems to me that he's trying to get away from his pudgy, Nickelodeon past.

Shapiro isn't a nerd. He isn't popular. All of the cool kids by pot from him, so they respect him, but not enough to hang out with him, so he befriends Ben Kingsley's Dr. Jeffrey Squires. Kingsley just looks bored in this role - like he showed up for the paycheck and/or craft service table. This leads to the film's only bright spot, Squires' step daughter Stephanie played by Olivia Thirlby from Juno.

There's no doubt that Thirlby is going to be a huge star. She is terrific and really the only actor in the movie worth watching. She's got great delivery and comic timing and she's a sex symbol waiting to happen.

Alright, here's my long list of problems with the movie. First, do we really need 1994 nostalgia? It's fine to set your movie in 1994, but the OJ Simpson, Kurt Cobain, and Rudy Giuliani references are useless. Second, the script misses tons of chances to mine situations for comedy. Dr. Squires analyzes a Jamaican drug lord's dream. That could go any number of places, and it just died on the table. There wasn't a single laugh in the theatre. Next, I never ever need to see the Olsen twins in anything. Especially if it involves one of them making out with Gandhi.



Also, this movie committed what I believe is the unltimate cinematic sin - tipping it's hand and giving away the ending within the first half hour. And finally, does every independent coming-of-age comedy now have to have a climactic scene set to Mott the Hoople's "All the Young Dudes"? Don't get me wrong, it's an awesome song. I just don't need it to be the soundtrack to every moment a kid realizes what direction they want their lives to go in.

The Wackness left me feeling dumb and cheated. I want the hour and a half of my life back ... no, since the movie felt like it lasted three and a half hours, I want three and a half hours back.

The Greek gives it a D.

Hellboy 2: The Golden Army

This is going to not only be a review, but a something of an anatomy lesson. That's because in order to be fair to Hellboy 2, I need to explain how I review a movie.

I rate movies the way a teacher might grade a test or a paper. Every movie starts out with an A+. From there things can only go down hill. It's kind of like be innocent until proven guilty. Along the way I'll take a few things into consideration, for instance last night the company sponsoring the screener screwed up and put my wife and I in the front row. It's not Hellboy's fault. That way there are chances for bonus points.

Here's how the grading process went for Hellboy 2: The Golden Army.

The movie opens with a nice recap of the first Hellboy film and a very creative set up using puppets. A little weird, but come on, this is a movie about the son of the devil who lives as a human and has countless cats. No points off.

Then we're introduced to the movies villain with a genuinely creepy (not so much scary) attack on humanity. No points off. Hey, the villain's sidekick looks like a recycled creature from director Guillermo del Toro's last fantasy film Pan's Labyrinth!

Hellboy 2 falls from an A+ to a simple A.

Okay, there's the gang's compound. Hey, there's Abe Sapien! David Hyde Peirce did a great job with his voice in the first movie. What the hell? David Hyde Peirce isn't doing Abe's voice in this one? What a load of crap! A- for Hellboy 2.

Hey, Selma Blair still looks great. No points off.

Now back to the main villain - Prince Nauda. He's meeting with his father, the king of the underworld. They sword fight. Too much kung fu for an elf for my tastes. Oh, it looks like anything that happens to the Prince also happens to his twin sister. My heart kind of sinks, because we're less than 30 minutes in and I've already figured out how this one's gonna end. We're taking off a full letter grade. We stand at a B-.

Okay, we've got a new character with a cool look and some cool super powers.

(Sorry, that's the only picture I could find) No points off.

Oh, he's voiced by Seth MacFarlane...We're down to a C+.

Okay, let's fast forward through the middle of the movie, because that's kind of what the director did. Liz is pregnant. Abe falls in love with the villian's twin sister. Hellboy realizes that humans are afraid of him. We learn Hellboy's beer of choice is Tecate. Hellboy and Abe sing Barry Manilow's "I Can't Smile Without You," Hellboy gets stabbed and we skip to the end.

Alright, I don't want to give much away, but there's another monster that Guillermo del Torro borrowed from Pan's Laberynth.

The final battle between Hellboy and Prince Nauda is more jumping around than actual fighting, which is a let down. And like I mentioned earlier, I had already figured out how this was going to end. No points off. I can't deduct for the same thing twice.

So the movie is over and we're standing at a C+. Okay, let's talk about some things that were not Hellboy 2: The Golden Army or Guillermo del Torro's fault.

First off, I mentioned that the company holding the screener screwed up and didn't have seats saved for me, so I had to sit in the front row of the the theatre...in the left corner. There could have been some awesome stuff happenning on the right side of the screen. I'd never know. Secondly, my wife was annoying the crap out of me. Finally I felt a cold coming on.

So, I would say that the movie deserves a C+, but because factors beyond the director's control have likely influenced my opinion of the movie, I will add a point back on. Besides, that seems about where this movie should be. It's not a must see, and it's certainly not as good as Hellboy. It's a summer movie. I was expecting better.

The Greek gives it a B-.