Max Payne

I am doing my best to not seem like a film snob on this blog. That was the attitude I took with me into the Rialto on Wednesday morning when Salt & I were given an opportunity to see Max Payne. I really did try to like it. I tried to appreciate the movie for what it is - a mindless, fun action flick. I even tried to have my opinion swayed by Salt, who is more apt to enjoy a mindless action movie that I am. I texted him later in the afternoon to find out what he thought.

"It was the worst" he texted back. Wow, the worst?

I admit, what I liked about the movie was the way it was filmed. Max Payne is based on the video game of the same name, and I appreciate director John Moore's attempt to make the film look like the video game - the screen flashes red whenever Max gets hit, the film is not well lit by any means, it makes use of bullet time and there are a lot of sequences that feature Mark Wahlberg diving in slow motion.

Check out the trailer for the 2001 video game.

Hell, Mark Wahlberg even looks like the video game character a little bit, no?

My list of problems with the film begin with a biggie! There were plot holes in the script so big you could drive a cruise ship through. That's the problem with trying to adapt a video game for the big screen - a video game is usually about 6 - 8 hours of story, because they manufacturers don't expect players to hammer it out in one night. A movie (especially one like Max Payne) has 2 hours at most. Either you need a screenwriter that can work magic or you need to commit to making two movies. Max Payne employed neither strategy. Hell, I didn't even know the name of two of the main characters until the final 15 minutes of the movie.

Secondly, does Mila Kunis really need to be involved in a movie like this? I think she's funny. She's certainly beautiful, and I'm sure she's plenty talented. I just can't watch her run around firing machine guns and killing people only to have Meg Griffin's voice come out of her mouth.

Can you say an action movie based on a video game or comic book is predicable? Because that is complaint number three. The movie is completely devoid of surprises.

I started to weigh the positives and the negatives of the movie and realized that making a movie look like a video game is a fun novelty, but not something that you should be hanging your hat on. The effects and recreations of some scenes from the source material are fun, but not enough to save this turd from it's eventual destination.

So I've used a lot of words to make my point and probably wasted a lot of your time. Maybe I should have just printed Salt's second text message as my review.

"Trite. Boring. Predictable and the plot had some big holes."

The Greek gives it a D.