Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Let me start by saying that Salt, who loves Transformers, and my 9-year-old Godson, Austin loved the movie. I, on the other hand, was not impressed by the sequel to a movie that I wasn't

impressed with to begin with.

Salt & I have been having a debate lately about the Transformers franchise and movies like it. Salt says that I am a movie snob and the only reason I hate the movie is because I hate the Transformers. My argument is that, in the age of movies like The Dark Knight and Star Trek, a blockbuster that has no heart or soul is unacceptable. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, Spider-Man, Spider-Man 2, Iron Man, and the Harry Potter films are great examples of what a summer blockbuster can be.

Was I expecting too much from Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen? Maybe. Maybe as I walked into the theatre I should have thought to myself "Oh boy! I'm gonna see Megan Fox and things are gonna explode!" I'm just not that kind of guy though. I want some depth...and therein lies the problem with going to see a Michael Bay movie.

The man might as well just film fireworks displays. Think about his past movies - Armageddon, Pearl Harbor, The Island, etc. They have no script (at least not one that makes any sense). He puts no effort into getting good performances out of his actors. His movies are bridges between explosions.

I am sorry this has turned into a rant about Michael Bay and the state of the summer blockbuster, but Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is exhibit A in this argument!

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen's greatest flaw is it's script. There are jokes. Not good ones. Salt says the first twenty minutes are hilarious. I thought the first twenty minutes were ridiculously unfocused - not nearly as unfocused as the final hour though. That's another flaw! Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen does not need to be two and a half hours long, but I digress. The final hour may have about twenty lines. I honestly had no idea what was going on other than things were blowing up and Megan Fox was running in slow motion.

There are a few other complaints I have about the movie, so I'll give you a quick run down.

• If you're favorite character dies, don't worry, they're going to come back to life (they all do)
• Michael Bay is making a movie about giant space robots and there is so much cussing and humping that I felt uncomfortable being in the theatre with a nine-year-old.
• The special effects weren't even all that impressive.

My greatest complaint though is the two characters Skids and Mudflap.

These are the two most racist things I have ever seen! Look at the green one. Yes, that's a gold tooth. Yes, he has big ears and a big nose. Hello, stereotype! And just wait till you hear them talk...then read the credits and see that Tom Kenny provides their voices. He looks like this. Now it seems a lot more racist.

There is so much wrong with Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen that it is easy to overlook the fact that the basic framework of the story isn't bad, and in the hands of a more capable writer and director it could be on par with Star Trek. Plus, with all of those explosions, the two and a half hour run time flies by, so the pain won't last too long if you are dragged along by your kids, friends, or significant other(s). And I would be lying if I didn't say that I laughed a few times.

The Greek gives it a C-.